Dearest Amy:
I am happily married, and afterward moving to a new town I have found a position as a bar director.

Amy Dickinson

I accept worked in the hospitality industry as a server, bartender and supervisor for many years but this fourth dimension it is different and difficult considering I am butting heads with a male person manager.

I like the place, it’south very close to abode, and except for him, the staff is wonderful. He is condescending, decision-making (which he calls “OCD”), and he is just not pleasant to work with — for anyone. But the owners like him and he has been there over five years, whereas I am five months in.

I have gathered from the way he talks that he is in an unhappy marriage and would rather be at work than at dwelling house. In dissimilarity, I bask the job, but I have a life outside and I intend to alive it.

I am a tough cookie, but I am at the point where I wonder if it is worth it to work under these conditions.

I exercise have other options, only I have never let anyone make me get out a chore. Can y’all give me your insight? It’s causing me unnecessary stress and anxiety.

Should I Stay or Go

Dear Stay or Go:
I say, practise your options. I understand that your professional person experience and personal grit might make it seem similar a capitulation but think of it this way: the person making you lot leave this job is non your manager but y’all.

You are being potent, resilient and decisive. Line upwardly your adjacent job, do your best to appraise in advance whether information technology will exist a genuine improvement for you lot, and let the last round be on you.

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Dear Amy:
“Julie” and I take been friends for about 13 years, ever since we were college roommates.

Information technology was originally a good relationship, but for about the past eight years, she has been admittedly miserable.

I have listened with pity, tried to be there, offered whatsoever assist I tin can think of, tried to requite communication when asked, suggested she talk to a therapist, etc., but she does not brand any changes, and nothing seems to help.

She dislikes her job, the town she lives in, her husband, absolutely everything.

I tin can barely get a give-and-take in considering she is always complaining. I feel like I am not being empathetic because I can barely stand to talk to her anymore.

It would be easier for me to continue our relationship if she made any changes to make her life more fulfilling for herself.

I have three pocket-size kids, a full-time job, and many extended family unit obligations.

For the past month, I take really tried to draw back and just say that I’k busy when she wants to talk, simply at present she’s calling and texting multiple times a day considering I call back she can tell I would like some distance.

Should I experience bad distancing myself? I’k one of her only friends.

How do I distance myself in the kindest way possible?

Unsure of Friend Obligations

Dear Unsure:
To recap: Julie does non make any changes, and nothing seems to help.

The reason cipher seems to assist is because Julie doesn’t make whatever changes.

Venting is exactly that: letting off steam from a boiling kettle. Only the kettle e’er boils once more until you find a way to adjust the flame. Julie hasn’t found a way to do that.

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Y’all are at present dodging her and, considering you’ve reached friendship end-phase, yous could effort one last time to aid her by substantially taking over a conversation and — for in one case — having information technology exist all about you.

Try: “It’s as if your issues have taken up all the space where our friendship used to be. But I have a life, too, and I have my own stresses and heartaches. Expert things, also! I miss our friendship because I want to share these things. That’southward why I’ve pulled away recently. I hope we can observe our manner dorsum.”

Beloved Amy:
“Loving Husband” has a wife who wants to open up her ain business with no business plan.

They should wait into classes at their local community college or university. I told my son I’d support him in one case he finished the program. He learned and so much and at present realizes why and so many businesses fail. He decided to expect until he has the expertise and contacts he needs to succeed.

 Supportive Parent

Dear Parent:
Great advice.

You tin email Amy Dickinson at or send a letter to Inquire Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You tin as well follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.